I was reading a blog today called: http://freshnessfactorfivethousand.blogspot.com by the inspiring and inspired singer/songwriter Jason Mraz. The strapline for the blog is: "Fuck the Should. Do the Want."
I think out of all the words in the English language, 'should' is the one I hate the most (apart from Inland Revenue, which is actually two, so probably doesn't count!)
'Should' is far from reality. It says "what you need to do isn't happening, and it isn't what you want to do, but IF you do it things will be tidier. However, the only satisfaction you'll get is to tick something off on your 'to do' list."
Eurgh - it's a smug, self-satisfied little word.
And if you listen to the conversations going on around you, and read newspapers and magazines, you'll encounter it a lot. It's most often used in relation to other people. As in "They SHOULD do this" or "They SHOULD do that". It's a real 'pointy-finger' word. It lives in splendour in the Daily Mail. In fact, I think that the editorial of the Daily Mail is probably based upon 'what should be happening.' Or at least it .... should be... arf, arf.
Not only does it imply odious responsibility and life-draining burdens, it introduces the mysterious and omnipresent entity - 'They'. Those unidentifiable experts who reign supreme in matters of the weather, child-rearing, fashion, diets, drinking habits, moral obligations... just about everything really.
But what really offends me about the word 'should', and all that it implies, is that it denies what is happening now. It denies THIS experience. It's a great big fat NO - and it doesn't even have the honesty to say 'Fuck Off'. It's censorious, denying, limiting, restricting and very, very mean-minded. It says that if you're having F.U.N. and doing what you want, then you bloody well shouldn't be!
It's the teacher with a mouth like a cat's arse, it's the sour-faced shop assistant, it's the sign at the public swimming pool that says "No running, No jumping, No petting, NO FUCKING FUN!"
But the ridiculous thing about not doing what you want, only what you should ... is that eventually what you want will turn into what you should. And on a very obvious level what you want IS what you should be doing, because it's what you're doing..... so it's the only thing that you could possibly BE doing.
Ooooh, it's the word at the very heart of human misery: You should be content. You should be good. You should try harder (that's got to be the most repeated comment on school reports). It fences off the glorious extremes of human experience: misery, failure, anger, lasciviousness (I like THAT word), excess, rage, apathy, lust, abandonment, hysteria, hilarity, intoxication ... you get the picture.
It engenders notions of dishonour, impropriety, disgrace - it's the creeping, red-cheeked, prickling sensation of shame. Its purpose is to stop people from relishing the reality of the present experience, seeking something that isn't happening; the ultimate ignorance; i.e. ignoring what you really, really want.
Last word is: Do what you want, because that's what you SHOULD be doing..... wanna know why? Because it's what you are doing! And you can't argue with reality. And if you do, then you bloody well shouldn't! ;-)
In the words of those camped up divas, The Spice Girls - "Yo, tell me what you want, what you really, really want!
So, "Fuck the Should, Do the Want." What a philosophy!